These People Think You're Stupid

I have a bizarre fascination with fitness infomercials. If I hit one while flipping channels I'll always stop and watch for a bit. What interests me most aren't the products but the people. The presenters are great of course, selling their wares in the finest tradition of the snake oil salesmen, but the ones I'm really interested in are the models, and all the people in the background showing off the product.

(You know... THESE people)

The infomercial people are always in very, very, VERY good shape. They have exquisitely balanced physiques and perfect muscle tone. They exude health. In fact, they're in such good shape that they can make lots of money by appearing on camera and making you envious enough to buy a crappy fitness product.

As artificial as everything in an infomercial is, the bodies are real. That level of fitness can't be faked. When the shirts come off and the spandex shorts and bras go on, all the cards are on the table. Sure, you can enhance the effect with lights and camera angles, but at its core every infomercial depends on an incredibly fit and healthy person showing off the product of the moment.

Anyone who has ever trained seriously and gotten even close to the level of these actors and models knows how difficult it is to look that good. You have to exercise religiously for years and have an impeccable diet that you never cheat on. You don't go out to eat, you don't have a drink after work, and you don't miss workouts no matter how busy you are. You view food as fuel and medicine and not something to be enjoyed. You actively seek the pain of burning muscles straining at their absolute limit. In other words, if you look like one of these people, you're one badass mofo.

But the products on sale are anything but badass. They usually isolate one small muscle group and even then they barely work it. You could get 10 times the results with a floor and a few chairs. And then there's the elephant in the room, the fact that 90% of the reason these models look so good is their insanely low body fat. Look at these two showing off one of the many electrical ab stimulator belts on the market today.

That dude is at about 6-8% body fat. How do I know this? You can see the freakin' Costal Cartilage of his ribs connecting to his Sternum. That's some seriously low body fat, and something tells me it wasn't the ab-belt that got him there. And the lady? She's coming in about 10-12% body-fat. How do I know? You can see her freakin' pelvic notch on the left side, an incredibly difficult thing to uncover on the female body.

To put things in perspective, a healthy body fat for men is 12% and women 20%. (And for more perspective, the average body fat for men in the US is 25% and women 35%!) Just getting down below 15% body fat requires discipline, to get as low as these two models and retain the kind of muscle tone they have requires extreme diligence and a good bit of expertise in anatomy and physiology.

And yet, there they are in those infomercials, smiling, fake sweating, and telling you that this is the product that will finally get you results. However, they know more than anyone what it really takes to get results, because they live and breathe it. And let me tell you, if you pulled out one of these contraptions in a real gym, the kind of gym these models go to, you'd be laughed out of the weight room.

And so I sit there thinking about all this, and I wonder what these men and women who take such good care of their bodies think as they go through the motions on the plastic contraptions. And I bet there's a small voice in their heads that says,"boy, if anyone buys this piece of crap they must be pretty stupid..."

Infomercials are designed top to bottom to press your buttons. Even the most sophisticated exerciser can be tempted by all the fabulous smiling people promising easy results. And at such a reasonable price! Always just slightly higher than you'd be willing to pay but not out of reach! It can be pretty enticing.

Luckily for you, I've found the ultimate defense against their siren songs. It's simple. Just remember that these models think you're stupid. And if you neglect your diet and buy one of these gimmicky things you're only proving them right. The next time you see one of these infomercials just remember this series of images I've compiled for you:







Puts you off these worthless products pretty fast right? Maybe even gets you a little hot under the collar? Good! Don't get mad, get even! Eat right, exercise every day, be consistent and get in awesome shape without giving these infomercial jerks any more money! Invest in yourself with sweat, time, and nutrition.

If these lame models did it you can too!

(Interested in this kind of topic? Check out this classic PCP post about those before and after photos!)