Behind the Curtain

I remember when I first started playing guitar. This was back in the days of OLGA (the online guitar archive, which was quickly shut down by record label attorneys). OLGA was awesome. You just searched for any song you wanted to play, and someone out there had done the tab for it. No commercials, no fake links, just content.

And here's the funny thing, when you learn to play a song you've listened to for months, it's a lot like flinging open the wizards curtain. I must have spent 6 months on the edge of my bed learning Radiohead's Street Spirit (back when Radiohead actually had guitar parts to learn). At first there's a sense of wonder that with your own fingers you can get a piece of wood to make the same sounds as your favorite band. And then comes a mild disappointment. That Street Spirit, one of the most beautiful songs ever, the turning point of Radiohead's sound, was just an Am, an Em, and a C with some hammer-ons thrown in, is just kind of... anti-climatic.

But this is how you learn how music works. By playing a song yourself, you get a glimpse of the underlying structure of sound, of the relationship between tones and intervals. Disappointment is replaced with the respect of an amateur tinkerer towards a master craftsman.

This experience of peeking behind the curtain can be had within any art-form. Sumo wrestling just looks like two fat guys having a shoving match to me, but I'm told by the afficionados that there is unimaginable technique and depths once you get to know the sport. And I believe them.

And today I want to encourage all of you to throw back the curtain on something we deal with everyday. Professionally made food. Much like a polished album (like OK Computer) a professional piece of food will arrive in your hands as if it had never been anything but complete. You look at the perfectly formed pastries behind the cafe counter, or the impeccably presented appetizer at a chain restaurant, and it seems like something far beyond your comprehension. So we eat them, enjoy them, and don't dwell on the fact that these foods were all at some point formed from a messy raw ingredient.

So here's what I invite you to do this week. Think about one of your favorite professionally made foods. One of those things you really have no idea what goes into, but that you enjoy. For me, it was the blueberry scones that I sometimes get from Starbucks.
As I've mentioned before, we're living in the matrix now, and if you can think it, someone has done a tutorial on how to do it. And sure enough, I found this great video about how to make flaky, delicious blueberry scones.

The tricks of the trade will surprise you in their simplicity. To stop the butter melting prematurely you freeze it first and shred it. Same with the blueberries. THAT'S how you get the blueberries to cook whole without bleeding and giving you a piece of tough blue bread. But there are some less pleasant surprises. 8 tablespoons of butter and a ton of sugar. It's not that I didn't know my Starbucks scone was full of butter and sugar, but when you're pouring in buckets of the stuff yourself you get a new appreciation of how truly junky this stuff is.

And this is the real magic of replicating your favorite pro-foods at home. You see them for what they really are; artfully produced bundles of fat and salt that target your pleasure centers like heat-seeking missiles. Of course I like scones... there's more than a candy-bar's worth of sugar in there!

This is a key point. Any food that has made it through the gauntlet of lab testing and focus groups will taste pretty damn good. If we use flavor as our only guide we will be constantly tempted towards foods that have been designed for that one dimension of palate satisfaction. But food's purpose isn't to taste good. It's to power your life so you can do the things you really care about.

But a professional food maker doesn't care about your energy levels, the accumulating fat on your body, or the mood swings that will follow consuming one of these unhealthy foods. They only care about making that sale, and that means appealing to your basest instincts, the desire for sugars, salts, and fat. The baked goods company that delivers to Starbucks will not bat an eyelash at the kilos of sugar pouring into the scone mixer. If you'll buy it, they'll make it.

And nothing will drive this point home like making it yourself. When it's you dumping a cup and a half of sugar into something that your then going to put in your and your family's body, it instantly becomes less appealing. Every bite is make just a little less sweet by the knowledge of what really went into making such a flavorful, pleasurable food. You will inevitably finish the treat thinking, "That was good, but it's the kind of thing I'd only have a few times a year." Compare this to the many people who will hit up the cafe counter every day.

Learning how things really work, be it music, sumo, or cooking, will make you a more interesting and engaged person. So please take me up on my challenge to reproduce one of those pro-foods at home this week. The experience will be an eye opener, and will probably end in you making healthier choices in the long run.
Knowledge is always a good! Even if your eyes become open to how badly you've been eating for the last few years, it's far better than ignorance. Get cooking and tell me how it goes!

The Top Ten Excuses I Hear for Not Getting Healthy

In a given week I'll interact with dozens of people who have questions about their health and fitness. The majority of them, after hearing the inconvenient truth about having to cut unhelpful foods, eating more fruits and vegetables, and spending time each day working out, will sigh, shake their heads, and trot out one of the:

Top Ten Excuses For Not Getting in Shape! (with holes punched through each for easy carrying!)

1. "I don't have enough time." Easily the most often heard excuse, this one casts the speaker in the role of the victim. He or she wants to be healthier, but the world has laid so many responsibilities on their shoulders that it's simply impossible to find any time to do anything about it. But here's the truth. Saying "I don't have enough time" is just another way of saying "I'd rather spend my time doing something else." I much prefer this formulation, as it means you're taking control of your choices, whatever they may be. It would be so refreshing to hear someone say, "I want to get in shape, but I'd rather spend my time on getting ahead in my career." At least that's honest, and it makes it clear that when you put long hours in at the office you're doing it at the expense of your fitness level. There's nothing wrong with making a choice! Focusing on your job, your family, your reality TV watching, or whatever, is fine. Just don't act like you have no say in how you spend your time.

2. "Oh, but I couldn't give up _______" insert the food or drink of your choice here. Frappacinos, beer, chocolate, onion rings, ranch dressing, whatever. This one is always kind of sad to me. You're a vibrant, brilliant individual. And you're going to let the desire for a certain type of food derail you? It's just food. And let me tell you something else. I've lived in a whole bunch of countries, and in each place there's always been a shortage of some kind of food I like. In one place, peanut butter was non-existent. In another, cheese was unheard of. And you know what? You get over it. When you don't "feed" an eating habit, it withers and dies. So, if you give up french fries, it's not as if you're going to wake up in a cold sweat craving french fries for the rest of your life. In a week or two you won't even think about them because your body has moved on from that particular hang up.

3. "So I couldn't go out with my friends anymore?" For goodness sake, getting in shape doesn't mean you become a hermit! If anything, you'll have more energy for going out than before. But usually the root of this excuse is "I can't go out and get wasted with my friends anymore." That is true. But if you're seriously considering becoming healthier, you need to think about the fact that your socializing is centered around intoxicants that damage your body and trip up your fitness goals. There are a small number of people who party hard and have the wherewithal to wake up early the next day and hit the gym. But if you're making this excuse, you are not one of them.

4. "But you see, I have to go to social functions for my work." Again, this is an "I'm the victim of circumstance" excuse, and completely bogus. Do you really think you're going to lose business opportunities by showing you are a disciplined and motivated person who's taking your training seriously? Let's imagine you're at a business lunch and have been offered a drink or fattening food. You politely pass, saying "It looks great, but I'm getting in shape right now, so I'm going to pass today." Chances are you'll strike up more conversations, because everyone is interested in being healthier, and you obviously know what you're doing. If you're really going to lose a sale or client because you don't want to put crap in your body, then maybe it's time to reconsider who you're doing business with!

5. "The truth is, I just hate working out." What you really mean is that you hate working out as a huffing, winded, overweight klutz. And who wouldn't hate that? Nobody likes to suck at something. And when you start getting in shape, you will suck. But it's only a very short window where you have to suffer like this. Just keep going a few weeks, and you'll become a skilled exerciser. And that's when things get fun. But not even starting because you don't want to go through that is like saying, "I want to drive to New York, but I hate New Jersey, so let's skip the whole trip."

6. "You have to make your own food? But I don't know how to cook." Dude, it's 2010. We're living in the matrix. You know how when the characters in that movie needed to fly a helicopter, and they'd just download the "know-how" into their brains? We live in that world right now. It's called YouTube. Search for any meal you can think of, and someone has made a video with all the ingredients and step by step visual instruction. And below the video will be hundreds of people asking questions, giving answers, and providing extra tips. A few weeks ago I got a craving for samosas, (one of those non-existent foods where I live). My wife punched up a video on YouTube, and within the hour we had fresh home made samosas. She had never even heard of a samosa before this. And they were awesome. Better than the samosas my Indian friend's mom used to make (sorry Mrs. Gopalan!). If you can't figure out how to prepare a meal in this day and age, then your problem isn't that you can't cook, it's that you're lazy. And that's ok. But at least come out and say it!

7. "Fresh fruits and vegetables are too expensive." If you start eating well, it's true, you will see your grocery bill rise. But this is more than offset by your cutting of restaurant checks, bar tabs, and all those little micropayments you make buying sodas and snacks from vending machines and convenience stores. There are a dozen areas of your life you can cut costs. Food doesn't need to be one of them. And even if it turns out that you are spending more money than before, realize you're spending it on the only investment that really matters, your life expectancy! I know people who buy premium gasoline to keep their cars running smoothly, but consider premium foods for their bodies an extravagance. Don't be crazy. If you have enough money to be reading this blog on a computer with an internet connection, then you have enough money to buy real food.

8. "But I don't want to bulk up like those bodybuilder types" This one almost makes me laugh out loud. Do you seriously think you're going to do some push-ups and sit-ups, and wake up the next day looking like this?To get in this condition requires years of specialized training, for several hours a day (and we won't even get into the unsavory dietary and drug supplements that bodybuilders use). Changing your body is a slow and steady process. And even if you did feel you were getting bulky in a particular area, it's not as if you can't modify your training to lean out that area. But to not even start because you're worried about getting bulky is like not going ice skating at the local rink because you don't want to be bothered flying to Russia to compete in the 2014 Winter Olympics.

9. "The problem is I don't belong to a gym and my house is too small." First of all, you know my opinion on gyms. (And if you don't, read this) Second, there's this awesome thing called "the outside" that people used to go to before the internet. Your average playground, for example, will have all the equipment you could ever need. Now I hear the chorus of follow-up excuses already. "But it's cold where I live," "But there's no playground near me," "I don't have time for that!" Look, we all have space and time constraints. Work with what you've got. (Check these guys out for inspiration) If you're waiting for when you live in a 8000 square foot house with a fitness room to start getting in shape, you're going to be waiting a long time!

10. "I don't know where to start." Again, I refer you to the fact that it's 2010. Use the internet. I've even heard they have these sites where you can type something in a search bar and it'll go around the net and find the information you need! It had a funny name... I think maybe it started with a G? Now I know there's a lot of crap information out there, so be discerning. Anything that promises you fast results or is trying to sell you a product is not what you need. Here's a good tip. If the advice you're reading is boring and consists mostly of common sense, then you're on the right track. It doesn't really matter what plan you choose, as long as you choose a plan, and not a gimmick. The human body is remarkably similar from person to person. You are not a special case. Eating right and exercising will make you look and feel better. This is not a matter of wishing, it's just physics.

And if you really want someone to help you out through each stage in the process of reclaiming your body, then click that "sign-up" button on the PCP site and we'll get the ball rolling. But be warned, your excuses won't carry much weight with us!